LovesMiss

Estimated reading time: 17 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove: I keep hearing you and other people say that “the bar for men is in Hell”, but I can’t believe that’s the case. I’ve got my shit together, I’ve got my own home, a good job, I’m educated, I treat people nicely and I never get a date. Every time I talk to women, things never go anywhere. I match with women on Hinge and I meet all the standards they say they want and I get ghosted. Meanwhile, guys who’ve cheated on every girlfriend they ever had and gaslight every woman around them are getting laid and having a great time.…

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes Doctor’s Note: Before we get to today’s column, I want to announce that my new podcast “Do As We Say, Not As They Did”  is live. Join me and my friend and co-host Dr. Liz as we give unfiltered analysis of dating discourse, resolve romantic ructions and give honest advice taken from other people’s poor decisions. Episodes drop every other Wednesday, and you can find them on the Do As We Say YouTube channel, Spotify and everywhere you get your podcasts. And now, your letters.  Dr. NerdLove, I really need advice as I cannot figure out how to move forward in my relationship, or if maybe I’m…

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove: I need help not fucking up my relationship the way I have before. Every time I’ve been with someone, my anxiety rages out of control and I act out and either my girlfriend breaks up with me because shes tired of putting up with me or I end up pushing her away. I’m with “Charlotte” and I love her madly, even though it hasn’t been very long. She’s kind, supportive, incredibly smart and talented, caring and loving  and has never given me a real reason to doubt how she feels about me. I know part of the  problem is that I know…

Estimated reading time: 20 minutes Dear Doctor NerdLove, Thank you so much for selecting my letter and for your incredible, compassionate response. You were right, and while I didn’t need a Clarence, I think this still qualifies you for wings. I wish I could adequately convey in words the depth of “seen” that I felt from your reply. I was hurting a lot at that time and it wasn’t easy to get through. It hit a point where therapy and meds almost weren’t enough. I really learned who was willing to show up for me, which was humbling; and I also learned who wasn’t, which was heartbreaking, but necessary. I’m…

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove, I feel like I have hit the in-law jackpot. His parents are chill and nerdy and I love spending time with them, his brother and sister and their significant others are people I would love to hang out with as friends even if my boyfriend weren’t around, and all the various aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins are awesome people, too. There was one Massive Asshole Relative, but the moment Massive Asshole Relative pulled an asshole move on my boyfriend, everyone else stopped inviting them to family events (BF’s sister even un-invited them from her wedding.) Also, I am a pretty…

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes I just lost my virginity, and I can’t stop thinking about how badly I might have screwed it up. A casual female friend of mine and I to talking at a party, and then somehow we started making out, before ending up back at her dorm and we ended up in bed together. Now I feel weird because I felt good about losing my virginity, but I feel like I was an awkward mess who just made everything uncomfortable. When we started, I was amazed and excited that everything was happening, but then I got stuck in my head about not knowing what I was…

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove: This is a question I never thought I would have to ask: how do I help someone through a break up when they’re still in a relationship with me? I’m in a polyamorous relationship, with most of our relationships being parallel; my partner’s relationships are their own and separate from ours, just as my other relationships are separate from theirs. We’ve both been on good terms with our metamours, but not close and we generally like it that way. Recently, my partner has been going through a rough time. Their job is restructuring, so they were let go, their grandmother has gone…