LovesMiss

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes I just lost my virginity, and I can’t stop thinking about how badly I might have screwed it up. A casual female friend of mine and I to talking at a party, and then somehow we started making out, before ending up back at her dorm and we ended up in bed together. Now I feel weird because I felt good about losing my virginity, but I feel like I was an awkward mess who just made everything uncomfortable. When we started, I was amazed and excited that everything was happening, but then I got stuck in my head about not knowing what I was…

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove: This is a question I never thought I would have to ask: how do I help someone through a break up when they’re still in a relationship with me? I’m in a polyamorous relationship, with most of our relationships being parallel; my partner’s relationships are their own and separate from ours, just as my other relationships are separate from theirs. We’ve both been on good terms with our metamours, but not close and we generally like it that way. Recently, my partner has been going through a rough time. Their job is restructuring, so they were let go, their grandmother has gone…

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove, I struggle to understand my own desirability as a man. I don’t really know what it feels like to be wanted, what that looks like in the real world, or how I’m even supposed to go about having a sex life. On paper, I should be doing fine. I’m tall, dark, and conventionally handsome. I’m lean with good muscularity. I’m socially capable and confident in every other area of my life. I’d say I have both the looks and the character, and the feedback I receive from others seems to confirm this. Despite this, women don’t appear to show much interest in…

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes Dear Dr. NerdLove, I want to ask you a question that has been getting under my skin more than I expected, one that feels strangely fundamental in the age of app-based dating: Why is it that men who thrive socially and romantically in real life often seem far less attractive on dating apps like Tinder? The reason I’m asking is because I seem to be living this paradox very vividly. In my day-to-day life, I do well with women. I’m not a model or a smooth-talking rogue, but I’ve dated genuinely beautiful, accomplished, interesting women — women I’m fairly certain wouldn’t have even paused on…

Estimated reading time: 19 minutes Hello Doc, I’m not really sure how to start with my question here. Basically, I’m a 25-year-old man, going to be 26 soon, and I haven’t had a real long-term romantic relationship since when I was in college before the pandemic. In that time, I’ve switched majors, changed schools, moved states to help my parents settle in to a new home, moved back to my home state, got my first degree, got employed, got a Master’s, and am now currently job-hunting for a position that will help me receive a certification that is required for another certification that will help me advance my career. I make…

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes Hey Doc, Thank you for your help last time I wrote in. Two years later, I’ve been happily in a relationship for quite some time now and I’ve found that I’m in my happy place in a dedicated, steady relationship. I’m writing in though, so of course, there’s a “but.” She’s poly, I’m (probably) monogamous. That’s a pretty big difference to navigate, I know, and not one with a ton of room for compromise. But having never tried polyamory, I’ve been willing to see how this is going to feel whenever she finds another partner before I dismiss it out of hand. One problem: we’ve…

Estimated reading time: 18 minutes Dr. NerdLove, I’ve recently been set off by a new T-shirt being sold at Target that literally says “Dump Him.” Imagine if Target also sold a shirt that said “Dump Her.” There would be outrage. Articles. Think pieces. Corporate apologies. Probably a recall within a week. But “Dump Him” is fine. It’s funny. It’s empowering. It’s a joke we’re all expected to laugh at. And that’s kind of the problem. This isn’t about one shirt. It’s about how casually and openly society accepts contempt for men in ways that would be unthinkable if the genders were reversed. Men are the only group where you can…

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes Dear Doc, So, I’ve got a ‘fun’ one for you. It’s going to have layers upon layers of bullshit, so please bear with me while I type it all out. Also, I get the impression that most of your audience usually skews pretty cis-het, so consider this one a variety offering. How does one look for a partner while being well outside of anything resembling ‘the social norms’, and thus dealing with massively constricted pool of options -on top- of being involuntarily picky? I’m a trans man, technically bisexual but with full romantic preference for other men. Being trans already tends to narrow down your…