3 ways to make Valentine’s Day a catalyst for change

If we’re single on Valentine’s Day, we have a choice how to respond. We can shut out the world and pretend the day isn’t happening, or we can embrace the occasion and let it be a turning point – a chance to refresh our dating life so that we can have a different experience this time next year. If the latter sounds appealing, here are three ways to lean into Valentine’s Day this time around.

Start as you mean to go on

I like to reframe Valentine’s as Love Day, an opportunity to celebrate affection in all its forms. This begins with how we care for ourselves from the moment we open our eyes.

Here’s how you can put self-love at the heart of your day and, if you choose to use Valentine’s to reset your routine, at the heart of your entire year.

Firstly, think about what self-loving actions you can take as soon as you wake up. For example, you could spend a few minutes writing down your thoughts, tuning in to your breath, reading uplifting words, listening to soothing music, or praying.

To do this, you will need to challenge any unhelpful habits, such as checking your phone or dwelling on negative or anxious thoughts.

Breakfast is another opportunity for self-love, as are all your mealtimes. Feed yourself as you would feed a precious child you truly loved, in a nourishing and nurturing way. Eat well on Valentine’s Day and try your best to do the same throughout the year.

You can dress yourself in a self-caring way, too. What can you wear that will bolster your self-esteem? And while you’re looking in your wardrobe, is it time for a refresh? What could you declutter to make space for the new? You might also want to check you have something to wear in case a date comes up at short notice, and if you don’t, plan a shopping trip (whether new, reloved, or vintage).

Finally, when you look in the mirror, resist the temptation to focus on any imperfections and instead, send yourself love and absolute approval. Your face reflects the life you’ve lived, with all its joys and trials, and your future partner will love all of you if you do the same.

These self-loving steps form the foundation of a healthy relationship with yourself, which is fundamental to a happy partnership, so try to practise them on Valentine’s Day and then embed them in your year.

Envisage your romantic future

Just as we see the New Year as an opportunity to start afresh, why not view Valentine’s as the first day of your romantic year? From February 14th onwards, you have twelve months ahead, offering a wonderful opportunity to transform your romantic life.

Where do you want to be on this date in 2027? You might want to take some time to write out your vision for your dating life or your future relationship, to draw a picture or create a vision board.

Once you have your vision but before you decide on any actions, check your mindset. Are you hopeful and trusting or are you disillusioned with dating? Do you think God has forgotten you when it comes to romance? Your mindset will influence the amount of energy you put into dating so if you’re low on hope – and it’s not unusual to feel blue on Valentine’s Day if life isn’t how you’d hoped – how can you feel more uplifted?

I always find that a walk in nature under big skies restores my faith, helping me to feel more hopeful and trusting. Talking to friends can have a similar effect.

It may also be helpful to set aside time to heal any past hurts and disappointments, as old wounds can block us from moving forward into joyful dating and a healthy relationship.

After creating your vision, make a promise to take aligned actions this year.

Spring into action

When we take an action, we create a shift, and Valentine’s marks the perfect turning point – an opportunity to set something new in motion. You may want to take a few steps on Valentine’s Day itself, using it as a springboard, or wait until the day has passed.

The obvious starting place is a refresh of your online dating profile, including your photos. Do your pictures show you in your best light while being a fair representation of how you look? Are your words authentic and true? Could you like to ask a friend to review your profile and offer some feedback?

If you’re feeling energised, you might want to fire off a few messages to potential dates, or at least highlight a few profiles to return to in the coming days.

As well as reviewing your profile, why not spruce up your social life? Are you doing the things you love as often as you can? Are you getting out of your comfort zone and meeting new people in the real world?

By leaning into Valentine’s, the day can mark a pivotal moment and the first day of a new romantic year.

Read more singleness, dating and relationship posts about Valentine’s Day here