How to ask your date about their faith

Asking someone about their faith is a great way to get to know them, and it also allows you to assess if this is someone that you could be compatible with. When you first start seeing someone, you might be interested to know a bit about their faith, but it can be tricky to know how to ask about it, especially in the initial stages. But coming with the right attitude and a genuine curiosity can open the door to some deep and thoughtful conversations.

Here are some helpful questions to consider when it comes to asking someone about their faith.

Ask them how they became a Christian and what their faith means to them

Everyone has a ‘how I became a Christian’ story. For some of us, it might feel like we’ve been Christians all our lives, because, for example, we were brought up in church. Others might have had a dramatic encounter and come to faith later in life. Others are somewhere in between.

Whichever way someone comes to faith, it is still valid, and most people would love to share their story as part of their testimony. So, this is a good place to start.

Ask them about church

The church someone attends tells you a little bit about their theology, even if not much about them. You could ask about what church they attend and why, if they serve in any capacity (including if they’re part of any groups) and how they started attending that church.

Finding out the church they attend can also open room for more conversations, as it can give you insight into a style of worship that is very different to what you’re used to.

Ask them about personal encounters with God

Some people have experienced specific personal encounters with God that has shaped their Christian walk. For some it was something as dramatic as a miraculous healing, whereas, for others, something as subtle as feeling the closeness of God when reading the Bible.

I remember a lady in one of my house fellowships sharing that she felt a real sense of God’s presence and an awareness of a Creator when she was stroking and admiring her cat one day, and this led her to faith in God!

This is one to test as you go. Let them decide if they feel comfortable sharing, but don’t force it.

Ask them what they find challenging about their faith

This is not something that a lot of people like to share, but the truth is that there are aspects of the Christian faith that some of us struggle with, such as, suffering, unanswered prayer, and sickness. Asking what someone finds particularly challenging gives you further insight into their faith journey and can lead to some interesting conversations.

Ask them what they enjoy or love most about their faith

In the same vein, asking someone what they love about their faith can give you insight into what it really means to them.

Ask them how they practice their faith daily

This might seem personal but how someone practices their faith day to day can help you decide if it is someone that you want to take things further with. It can also encourage and challenge you on your own faith journey.

Ask them about the Bible

Or more directly, what they think about specific parts of the Bible. You can have some interesting conversations and find out a lot about someone from hearing their perspectives on some aspects of the Bible.

This could be specific stories, or themes, narratives, or even verses. You can also ask them about their favourite Bible stories or verses that spoken to them over the years.

Ask them who inspires them

Find out if they have any favourite preachers, musicians, books that have helped them on the journey of faith. You never know, you might find one or two that could inspire you too!

Ask them about their spiritual practise

How would they describe their prayer life? Do they follow any Bible reading plans? Prayer and Bible reading should be a key part of any Christian’s life. Sharing what that looks like can give you some insight into how the other person practises their faith.

Ask them if you can pray for them

You might want to enquire if there is anything specific that they would like prayer for. Based on what you’ve heard, and if you’re still interested, you’re likely going to be praying for this person, so it is worth asking them if they have anything specific that they would like prayer for. This also provides you with some information about what is important to them.

Whilst you’re not likely to ask all these questions on the first date or immediately after you’ve met someone, some of them might come up along the way, as the relationship progresses. Asking the right questions is important, but having the right attitude and mindset when asking someone about their faith is also important.

Here are some things to bear in mind when asking someone about their faith:

Be open-minded

Bear in mind that the way someone interprets the Bible and practices their faith may be different to your way. Being open-minded means being open to different perspectives, and especially if they differ from your own experiences. So, come with an attitude of openness and this will help the other person feel more comfortable sharing with you.

Be non-judgemental

The chances are that whoever you’re talking with has a different experience to you when it comes to faith. Some of what they share might come as a surprise to you but try not to judge them based on how they express their faith, or what they’ve experienced.

Be amenable – even when you disagree

Faith is something that is very personal, and most of us believe that the way we practice our faith is the right way. You might come across something that you disagree on, and potentially something that you feel quite strongly about.

If this is someone that you’re hoping to share a future with, it is best to avoid arguments, but instead, have a healthy discussion about the topic. You may still not agree, but you can remain respectful of each other’s points of view.

The way we practise our faith is personal to us and can be based on the way we’ve been brought up, or even the church we attend. Having these faith conversations can bring clarity to a relationship where it is needed and allow the relationship to move in the right direction as the two people get to know each other better.