3 things to do now for a strong and engaging dating profile

Creating an engaging dating profile can be a challenge. How much should you say? What should you hold back? Should you lay out your non-negotiables at the start – or at all? Does it matter if you have a photo? As part of our 25^th birthday celebrations, we offered Christian Connection members the opportunity to apply for a profile review: the chance for our team to go through existing profiles and offer tips and suggestions for a refresh. While each profile is personal to it’s creator, there are some tips that work for everyone.

Here are a few things to check when you next review how you’re presenting yourself to ensure you have an engaging dating profile.

Photos are important

Your whole profile is an introduction, and photos are the first impression. Don’t be tempted to skip photos if you’re serious about wanting to meet someone. Even if you’re camera shy, it’s a fact that profiles with photos get significantly more interest than those without. It makes sense – seeing who you’re talking to, whether online or in person, helps you to feel connected.

One photo is a good start but more is better! Up to date – ideally within the last six months – pics of you, without filters, showing who you are sets the tone for your profile. If you can avoid selfies, it’s a good idea to do so. Even turning your phone around and using the self-timer can make your photos more natural and appealing.

Think about the quality of pictures before you upload. Avoid dark photos where you can’t be seen clearly. The same goes for blurry photos – even if it’s your favourite holiday memory, if you’re hard to make it, it’s not a positive for someone trying to get to know you.

Use your photos as a way to share more about yourself. Doing different activities helps give a rounder view of your life.

What you write tells others who you are

Use the opening statement to introduce yourself, not to issue a list of requirements.
Identify four or five key things about you to include at the start. What are the important or stand out things you want someone to know? What would a one sentence description of you say?

Think of some positive descriptive words that have been used by others (or ask some people in your life what they think describe you well) – fun, thoughtful, adventurous, sociable, quiet, friendly, active, outgoing, humble, reliable.

Think of a couple of activities you enjoy or spend a lot of time doing that give a flavour of you – DIY, singing in a choir, kayaking, bird watching. Add in your work if that’s important to you, and decide if you want to talk about your faith up front.

You might arrive at something like: “Hello! I’m an outgoing, friendly church administrator who spends my free time baking for friends and family, singing in a jazz choir and cycling. My faith is central to my life, and I am part of the church welcome team on Sundays, making sure new people feel at home straight away.”

Don’t use it to lay out everything you’re looking for or not looking for in a partner.

How you write it tells others what to expect

Think of it as opening a conversation. You’re speaking to potential connections, and it’s important to remember how people generally like to be spoken to – in a friendly, approachable way – and how you can accidentally slip into doing something off-putting.

Don’t use ALL CAPS – Writing using only capital letters can be regarded as the equivalent of shouting. Even if you are keen to meet someone close to where you live, there are more subtle ways to share that information than “MUST BE LOCAL”. Take your time to share what’s important. Just as you wouldn’t shout your preferences or red lines if you met someone in person, don’t do it in writing.

Avoid repetition – Try not to say the same thing in five different places on your profile. Even if you really, really love competitive ukelele playing and want a partner to accompany you to contests every weekend, find one – maybe two – places to mention it and leave the rest for conversation.

Spell check – It’s easy to find online tools that can give your profile a quick onceover if you’re shy about asking a friend to take a look. It shows you’ve taken the time to present yourself as well as you can, so people can focus on what you want to say and not need to decipher any quirks.

Expand on minimal info – The CC profile offers the chance to say as much or as little as you want to, but think about why you’re writing it in the first place: to connect with others. Providing the bare bones of your life and interests doesn’t give the impression of investing in the dating process – what can you add to make your story come to life?

Get a sense check – If you feel comfortable sharing your profile, ask someone else to read it. Fresh eyes can spot the typos you might miss and places where you might not have shared everything that’s great about you!

Use ‘final thoughts’ to sign off engagingly – You could make a joke, ask a question, thank people for reading. What do you want them to go away thinking?