6 ways dating with humour can help you form a serious connection

Imagine you’re on a first date with someone you’ve been messaging on Christian Connection. You’re both looking your best, confidence growing, and the chat is flowing, when suddenly your glass of water is knocked over. Is it a disaster, or a memorable moment you’ll both laugh about later? When online dating feels too serious or intense, every little mishap can seem like a setback. But taking a lighter approach to those moments can turn them into opportunities to connect. Studies have shown that a sense of humour is one of the top qualities that online daters are looking for, and moments like these can be a great chance to let yours shine.

From writing your profile to that first meeting and beyond, dating with humour can help you to relax, show your real self and enjoy the dating experience, even when things don’t work out.

Here are our top tips on how to make your sense of humour work for you:

Keep it light

When you think of your ideal first date, you probably imagine easy conversation and hopefully some laughter. We’re all looking for someone who ‘gets us’ as we are. Yet it’s easy to be overtaken by nerves when we think we might have met someone special. Every message, chat and date can seem like a very big deal.

Remember, a date shouldn’t feel like a job interview. If you’re nervous, let the other person know about it. Chances are they’re feeling the same, and getting that out in the open will let you laugh about it too.

Try not to put too much pressure on the new connections you form – instead, focus on being yourself and having a good time. When you shift the aim from impressing someone to enjoying your time with them, it will be easier for you both to relax and be yourselves.

Be playful in your profile

Your online dating profile is the first glimpse that other people get of your personality, so try to let who you are shine through. Christian Connection profiles offer plenty of space to share something special about yourself: why not include a short anecdote that makes you laugh, or admit to some of your more unusual quirks or hobbies?

Not only is being yourself in your profile more likely to attract a partner who feels like their humour matches yours, a lighthearted profile is more likely to make anyone stop and look a little longer. Research by the University of Arizona found that daters linked having a sense of humour to lots of other positive qualities, such being creative and adaptable. A verse in Proverbs reminds us that “a cheerful heart is good medicine” too.

So a witty line in your bio or sharing a funny fact about yourself could help you to stand out in a sea of introductions.

Focus on the positives

Remember, not all humour is created equally, and tone can be very hard to read on the internet. Negative jokes that put other people down, or sarcasm that pokes fun in a harsh way is rarely received well, and could be completely misunderstood. Too much self-deprecation can also come across badly.

Positive, warm and inclusive humour on the other hand tends to make you appear more approachable and friendly. Try thinking of it this way: positivity draws people to you, while negative comments create distance. Which sounds better when you’re trying to attract a partner?

Use laughter to break the ice

We’ve all stared at a first message that just says ‘Hi’, not knowing how to respond.
On Christian Connection we always suggest asking a question or mentioning a common interest as an ideal conversation starter, but if you can introduce a little laughter from your first message then even better.

That doesn’t mean sending out your best joke, or using a pick-up line cliché. Try to keep it personal. If they’ve mentioned their dog in their profile, you might ask if he has an approval test for new partners (and what kind of treats he accepts as a bribe). Be creative and genuine.

Your messages don’t need to be an all-out comedy routine, but making someone smile here and there can set the tone for an easy, fun chat. Just make sure to read the other person’s vibe. If they’re responding positively, you’re on the right track.

Laugh off the mishaps

Online dating can lead to ample opportunities for awkward experiences. Maybe someone’s misunderstood a message. Or you’re meeting in person but the traffic means you’re twenty minutes late. The restaurant you’ve raved about serves up a disgusting meal. Rain interrupts your romantic walk. It may just be one of those days when anything that could go wrong, does.

How you react to these situations makes all the difference. Frustration is understandable, but getting angry or flustered won’t help you save the day. Try to take things in stride, acknowledge the awkward and be graceful and good humoured about mishaps along the way.

When you can laugh about the little things, it shows you’re adaptable and easy-going. And that’s not only better for your own mood, it’s attractive, too! Even if the date doesn’t turn into a long-term relationship, you’re both more likely to walk away feeling good about the experience.

Most importantly, being yourself is good enough

You might not feel like you’re a naturally funny person. Maybe the idea of telling jokes gives you chills. So here’s an important reminder: you don’t have to be the funniest person in the room to have a good time. Good humour is often just being able to enjoy yourself. Laughter happens naturally when you find someone whose personality blends well with your own and when you can both relax together.

Dating should always have room for joy, and for spending good times together. Don’t let trying to be funny create a different kind of pressure.

So, next time you’re crafting a first message or meeting someone new, don’t worry about being perfect, just look for those little opportunities to see the funny side. Because online dating is all about connection, and connection often starts with something as simple as a shared smile.

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